I do not get high on those words, because I believe deeply that I am not special. I think actually that I am the norm. Why? Being honest should be the norm. Being transparent with your emotions to the ones who love you, should be the norm. Being loyal should be the norm, because why else you think your mother pressed you out of her body, giving you birth. Being with integrity in life should be normal, why else your father wanted you to stand up again, when you fell from the tree, crying. Did he tell you how shitty you are, or did he build you up, so you can fall from higher and become less weak?
You understand what I want to say. I am not special at all, I am just in a raw form finally, where I can be myself and everyone out there who resonates with me, knows one thing: you are not that different from me. I just made the final decision to strive for the best I can, every moment I want to give, every moment I want to serve, every moment I am ready to leave from here, giving my last energy to the world, by being myself and being real.
Do I want to be weak? I am, I go through phases like this, but I do not put that on others, I deal it out with myself, in my own, on my own and if I involve others, only the ones who offer the guidance, because they know how to deal with it and they are focused and present enough, to guide me.
But to be real with you, I am just a guy with a big nose, who fcked up his life so much, spent too long time in the darkness, because I was afraid of the love, the light and the power within. Today I certainly know, that love is the strongest power, the reality of our own life can be the strongest drug and the best high comes from clarity and that clarity can be found within.
Nothing is out there, if you are not satisfied with your true identity. So remove the demons, by bringing in the love from your core, for that I had to become 100% sober.