I’ve been there – which is why I can guarantee you: I know exactly how you feel.
I’m of Greek descent, grew up in Germany, and today I live in Zürich. But this path didn’t begin here – it began at the very bottom. Even in school I struggled enormously to grow into myself – not because I was different, but because I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings and emotions. I could blame the system, but that would be too easy. Instead of engaging with my body, my senses and my talents, I reached for joints – and that’s where the whole journey begins. I consumed everything, because I wanted to feel, to experience, to have fun. I didn’t notice I was suppressing my potential, and I certainly had no idea I’d spend the next 10 years consuming hard.
I became addicted. Weed, cocaine, ketamine, speed, a lot of partying, alcohol, after parties and fake friends. The higher the kick, the deeper the emptiness. Anything to avoid facing my own reality. I functioned, I earned good money – and yet I was a poor bastard, because inside I was empty and lonely and looked for validation on the outside. Loud, center of attention, chasing approval from every direction. I lived in Berlin, which didn’t make it better. But as little as I want to condemn school, I equally refuse to condemn the capital for my time there. Not everything was bad, much of it was exciting – but the nervous system and the body don’t forget. I felt the consequences for years afterward. And it’s exactly these experiences that are incredibly valuable today, because they help me understand you and help you step into your power.
How did I do it? With decisions I made consciously at the very last moment, and with the conviction that it’s never too late – that you can achieve anything if you truly want it. That’s why the main question is always: “Do you want change?” If the answer is yes, keep reading – because I promise you, you’re in exactly the right place. If I can do it, so can you.
In 2011 I left everything behind. An old bicycle, no money, no plan. On the road for over six years. On the road there’s nowhere to hide. Just raw reality, every day. That’s exactly where I learned what I pass on today: how to sit with inner uncertainty, how to face what you’re running from, and where real self-confidence comes from – from within, when you take responsibility for your life. This journey, on the bicycle from my father’s garage, became the journey of my life. Whether in Serbia or Greece, in Bulgaria or India, in Nepal or Bangladesh – I stayed clean and truly got to know myself for the first time. I traveled the world without money, hard to imagine when I now look out over the lake from my balcony in Küsnacht. What I pay in rent here in a month was enough back then for a whole year. I cleaned toilets in taverns, washed dishes in restaurants – and for the first time experienced that a wonderful person lived inside me. A young man who felt the joy of life without numbing himself.
In my own eyes, I had made it: clean, healthy, having seen the world – and understanding that all my limitations existed only in my head. Almost six years traveling the world, never more than 5–10 dollars a day, no insurance, no bank account, no fixed address. A kind of homeless man, freed from addiction, with the whole world at my feet.
My energy poured out of me, my life force was at its peak. And then everything fell into place like magic: a beautiful woman approached me on a boat in Greece. Three days later she proposed to me. We put everything on one card – get married and travel the world together. I was convinced that this marriage, and life as a husband and businessman in Amsterdam, was exactly what I had always wanted. All in, successful on the outside, actually happy – and yet it would end in tragedy. My brother once told me: “It always turns out differently than you think.”
With the divorce, everything collapsed – and I mean really collapsed. But this time I didn’t run – not like back in Berlin, not into consumption, not into distraction. I stayed and looked at it directly. Therapy, retreats, men’s circles, conversations with my mother, who watched her son suffer.
I’m a man who saw the world, completely lost his life in the process, and then took it back into his own hands. My body has lived through more depths and heights than most people would ever want. But I’m still here – today stronger, more conscious and more courageous than ever.